Like a kid in a candy shop

Daniel and I recently went to Hobby Lobby (remember how I am sewing those quiet books? well, I needed some felt). For the first twenty minutes Daniel kept complaining about how inappropriately the store was named. We would pass by aisle after aisle of crafting or home furnishings.

Daniel: where are all the model airplanes or toy cars? when someone asks me what my hobby is, I think cross country skiing or guitar, not crafts.
Me: Well what else would they name it, crafy lafty?
Daniel: Yeah, sure

And then we reached it. The motherload of fun do-it-yourself science toys.

That's right, a dual stage taser twin model rocket

One day we will see one of these blast off for real

Another conversation that occurred in the store.

Me: Daniel, what are you going to get me for Valentine's day?
Daniel: How about a teddy bear as big as myself?

Me: No, also, not possible, that would be huge
Daniel: How about a teddy bear as large as you?
Me: Still, no thanks
- a couple minutes later -
Daniel: How about THAT?! *see picture*

Benefits of Unemployment

It's official (ish). We are staying in Utah (98% certain). I sent an email letting my Korean employers know that because of the difficulty with the FBI that I could not tell them an exact date of me getting the background check and that I would understand if they needed to find another employee to fill the teaching position. I never received a reply. I don't know if that means they are going to wait for me or if that means that they are getting someone else.

Either way, I have started looking for employment in Utah. It's not as bad as it sounds, except for the whole, having no income, part.

Benefits of being unemployed

The mailbox opens and the flag moves, it's intense

• Catching up on my "around the house" to-do list, organizing, re-organizing, moving things around, improving the feng shui of the room
• Creating quiet books. Our Relief Society decided to put together quiet books for our activity this month and regardless of my childness (or childlessness) I wanted one. (Even if I don't have a young one to enjoy it, Daniel and I can play with it). My Relief Society leaders are insanely crafty and so I know it is going to be amazing. There are twelve pages, so everyone is in charge of making 12 duplicates of one page. Check out the one that I am working on now.
• Special time with Daniel. We have been blowing through our Netflix queue, cooking together, cleaning, and my new favorite, reading together. Daniel found some fun Math books at the library that he has been reading out loud to me while I cook, clean, etc. (that's like cleaning together, right?)
• Personal develop, I have been meaning to learn and do so many things that I have put off until I "have time" and so now I have time. I have been practicing piano, going through coursera courses, reading books, and not improving particularly fast in any of those areas, but at least feeling good while doing them. I would include exercise to this list, except for the air quality outside has been at near-death levels for the past week or more. If I can barely see my hand in front of my face because of the smog then I don't want to imagine what that would do inside of my lungs by going out and running in it.
• Always having time to hang out. Any time friends request hanging out, I always say yes. It's great.
• Updating my resume, except this mostly means changing it for each job that I apply for to make it specially formulated to show how I qualify for the position they are posting.
• Seeing weird job postings online, i.e.
• Professional flagger (you actually have to have a flagger certificate, who knew)
• Did you know that personal assistants earn an avg of 20.10 an hour
• Bore crew.. hehe
• Food demo specialist

It's a fun life. I am interviewing though so hopefully this fun life will meet another, newer fun life of going to work, learning new things, and earning money.

Time for the Big Guns: aka I called my Daddy

And so the drama continues.

People are surprised that I am not yet in Korea, I am surprised that I am not yet in Korea and the big question on everyone's mind (including my own) is, "are you still going to Korea?".

Current status of things: After having all my documents lost in the mail, I began the process of restarting everything. This includes a Federal Background Check. Previously I had just gotten a state background check, because this used to be acceptable by the Korean government. Apparently regulations have changed and it is no longer acceptable.

Not a big deal, I went down to the Orem Police Station, had a couple of sheets of fingerprints taken, mailed them immediately to the FBI and waited. On the website it said that it could take at least 2 weeks and up to 4. I called them two weeks later and was informed that it takes FOUR WEEKS just for them to have recorded my papers. Now it's not like this is a particularly difficult thing to do, I could probably set up a system to scan people's papers into a computer and have it done in 30 minutes. But it is the government and I understand that they have no motivation to improve their system or provide customer service or get things done. (I had called their "customer service" line multiple times, but I think it should be more appropriately labelled customer abuse since they never provided me with any sort of service and instead I felt like crying when they were done talking).

I waited four weeks, while my future employer was wondering what the heck is happening, where are my papers, they need a teacher-- and soon. Pressure is on. I call them, they said it wont even think of being done until it has been in their office for SIX WEEKS.

*breath* Six weeks. Okay.

Then I get a letter from them stating that my fingerprints could not be processed by their machine and I will need to send them more fingerprints. So I go down to the Orem Police Station again, explain that the previous prints did not go through the machine. The fingerprinting technician took my prints again and then explained that because of the way my fingers are they will probably not be able to obtain fingerprints that can be read by the fingerprinting machine.

Okay, I have weird fingers. So I call the FBI customer abuse line and am informed that regardless of my finger abnormalities there is no alternative to the fingerprint check for this background check and I will need to continue sending them fingerprint sheets for the rest of my life. I can't take it anymore and I break down. I cannot stop crying. How embarrassing. Everything in my life has conspired against me and this is the last brick on my back-- I am broken.

Maybe this is some cosmic sign, I am not meant to go to Korea. I can accept that fact. Except when I pray about it I still feel like I should go. But how? There is no physical way for me to change my fingers. I contemplate using Anna's fingerprints, after all the only thing the Korean government needs is a clear background check and we both have that. In the end I call Jason Chaffetz's office-- my state representative. I am directed to the staffer for immigration and visa issues and I tell them everything. Unfortunately, they are not able to get past the wall of bad customer service at the FBI either, but they suggest a few things for me to do in order to improve the quality of my fingerprints:

• wear Vaseline and gloves at night for a few nights
• drink LOTS of water
• don't look when the fingerprints are being taken
• "milk" my fingers in order to bring all the blood to the fingertips

I do these things, get more fingerprints, send them with a kind note and called again today, once they should have received the prints. I have decided that if this doesn't work then I will quit. My body, brain, and soul cannot take the uncertainty any longer. If the prints work, great, I will send them to Korea and continue with my plan, albeit delayed. If they do not work, I will inform my future employer, regretfully, that I am unable to teach for them. Then I will accept life, find a job, and stop being in limbo.

Today I was told that it will take another 3-4 weeks to run my prints through the machine again. 

I can't take it. 

So I called my Daddy. After I sent the fingerprints last week he called me to say that he had heard about the trouble I was having and that he had some friends in the FBI who he could call and see if he could make things move a little faster. Although I don't know that there is anything that can be done, if anyone can make it work, it is my Daddy. He is known as the "maker of things getting done" and he has weird connections in high places. At least I wont have to wait six weeks for him to get back to me.