Time for the Big Guns: aka I called my Daddy

And so the drama continues.

People are surprised that I am not yet in Korea, I am surprised that I am not yet in Korea and the big question on everyone's mind (including my own) is, "are you still going to Korea?".

Current status of things: After having all my documents lost in the mail, I began the process of restarting everything. This includes a Federal Background Check. Previously I had just gotten a state background check, because this used to be acceptable by the Korean government. Apparently regulations have changed and it is no longer acceptable.

Not a big deal, I went down to the Orem Police Station, had a couple of sheets of fingerprints taken, mailed them immediately to the FBI and waited. On the website it said that it could take at least 2 weeks and up to 4. I called them two weeks later and was informed that it takes FOUR WEEKS just for them to have recorded my papers. Now it's not like this is a particularly difficult thing to do, I could probably set up a system to scan people's papers into a computer and have it done in 30 minutes. But it is the government and I understand that they have no motivation to improve their system or provide customer service or get things done. (I had called their "customer service" line multiple times, but I think it should be more appropriately labelled customer abuse since they never provided me with any sort of service and instead I felt like crying when they were done talking).

I waited four weeks, while my future employer was wondering what the heck is happening, where are my papers, they need a teacher-- and soon. Pressure is on. I call them, they said it wont even think of being done until it has been in their office for SIX WEEKS.

*breath* Six weeks. Okay.

Then I get a letter from them stating that my fingerprints could not be processed by their machine and I will need to send them more fingerprints. So I go down to the Orem Police Station again, explain that the previous prints did not go through the machine. The fingerprinting technician took my prints again and then explained that because of the way my fingers are they will probably not be able to obtain fingerprints that can be read by the fingerprinting machine.

Okay, I have weird fingers. So I call the FBI customer abuse line and am informed that regardless of my finger abnormalities there is no alternative to the fingerprint check for this background check and I will need to continue sending them fingerprint sheets for the rest of my life. I can't take it anymore and I break down. I cannot stop crying. How embarrassing. Everything in my life has conspired against me and this is the last brick on my back-- I am broken.

Maybe this is some cosmic sign, I am not meant to go to Korea. I can accept that fact. Except when I pray about it I still feel like I should go. But how? There is no physical way for me to change my fingers. I contemplate using Anna's fingerprints, after all the only thing the Korean government needs is a clear background check and we both have that. In the end I call Jason Chaffetz's office-- my state representative. I am directed to the staffer for immigration and visa issues and I tell them everything. Unfortunately, they are not able to get past the wall of bad customer service at the FBI either, but they suggest a few things for me to do in order to improve the quality of my fingerprints:

• wear Vaseline and gloves at night for a few nights
• drink LOTS of water
• don't look when the fingerprints are being taken
• "milk" my fingers in order to bring all the blood to the fingertips

I do these things, get more fingerprints, send them with a kind note and called again today, once they should have received the prints. I have decided that if this doesn't work then I will quit. My body, brain, and soul cannot take the uncertainty any longer. If the prints work, great, I will send them to Korea and continue with my plan, albeit delayed. If they do not work, I will inform my future employer, regretfully, that I am unable to teach for them. Then I will accept life, find a job, and stop being in limbo.

Today I was told that it will take another 3-4 weeks to run my prints through the machine again. 

I can't take it. 

So I called my Daddy. After I sent the fingerprints last week he called me to say that he had heard about the trouble I was having and that he had some friends in the FBI who he could call and see if he could make things move a little faster. Although I don't know that there is anything that can be done, if anyone can make it work, it is my Daddy. He is known as the "maker of things getting done" and he has weird connections in high places. At least I wont have to wait six weeks for him to get back to me.